2 x 4 Beating, Shovel Attack, Vehicle Assault...

It was another whacky couple of days in the 'Peg...

Story #1). Wasted Bitch Bashes Families Heads with 2 x 4...

A 26-year-old twit brutally beat her aunt and uncle with a 2 x 4 during a fight on Sunday night.

The incident happened around 10 p.m. on in the 600 block of Simcoe Street.

Rusty Redhead and his wife were at their home on Simcoe Street when their 26-year-old niece came over to visit Sunday night. Police say a heated argument between the trio led the young female half-wit to arm herself with a plank and attack her own family.

Rusty & wife were taken to hospital treated for head lacerations and upper body injuries. They were later released. Redhead said his gashes required 14 surgical staples to close up, while his wife received 19 stitches.

The female scumbag has been charged with two counts of assault with a weapon and breaching a probation order. Gee - maybe she should get whacked in the head and see how she likes it.

Story #2). Asian Dim-wit Clan Attacks...

At around 5am Monday morning, a group approached a man while he was sitting in his car in the 1200 block of Sherburn Street.

One of the suspects asked the 29-year-old victim for a cigarette and some money. The victim cracked his window open slightly and offered a small amount of money. Ummm... Why not drive away?

After some time, the suspect began attacking the victim who reacted by opening his car door, pushing the suspect backward. The victim abandoned his car and ran away on foot.

Officers say the first suspect and a second male suspect were carrying knives as they chased the victim on foot. They eventually got into their own cars and continued chasing him. A third female suspect was also seen entering the victim's car, according to officers.

The victim eventually went into a business in the 1400 block of Notre Dame Avenue and called police. The suspects then fled the area. Chicken-shits.

The first scumbag is described as male, Asian in appearance and around 30 years old. He is 5'8" in height and has a moustache, pock marked face, pierced nose and silver earrings in both ears. He is missing his front teeth and was wearing a blue t-shirt, red jacket and black baseball cap. He had a knife in his possession at the time of the incident. He sounds like a gormless fool. The vehicle he drove was a small, mid 1990s 2-tone sedan.

Idoit at large #2 is described as male, also Asian in appearance with a chubby build. He was shorter than the first suspect. He was wearing a baseball cap and also had a knife. The vehicle he drove was a two door, late 1990s car. It was maroon in colour.

Retarded loser #3 is described as female, Asian in appearance with a tall, thin build. She is 5'8" in height with a long face, long dark hair. She was wearing a dark brown jacket.

Sounds like a trip back to Asia would work well for these screw-tards. Put 'em on a boat back to rice-land.

Anyone with information is asked to call Crime Stoppers at 786-TIPS (8477).

Story #3). Jack-Ass Smacks his Friends Head In...

An early morning argument shortly before 3am turned really bad Sunday, as a man assaulted another man to the head with a steel shovel. Police were called to an apartment at 99 Roslyn Road after two men were at a drinking party when they got into an argument that turned physical.

One man is being charged with aggravated assault after allegedly hitting his friend with a shovel. A 26-year old man was taken to hospital in unstable condition. With friends like this, (well you know the saying).

The scumbag defense lawyer will probably say that it's Walmart or Canadian Tire's fault for selling steel shovels, and the useless prosecuter will probably say, "Duh, I think shovels are all plastic now?" Then, the case will get dismissed because nobody will know what kind of shovel is actually sold in stores in Winnipeg.

Prepare yourselves for some seriously lame-ass charges in all these cases.


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